but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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