i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
