What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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