i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
