We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
im on a boat
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