what if every blade of grass was a penis?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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