Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
