The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
