Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
