We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
