your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
