Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need water and some morals
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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