I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sorry about my life...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
