i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize