went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
