Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize