he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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