You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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