I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
