He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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