All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
