I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
