I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
