sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
