Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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