Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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