first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
