none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
