WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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