I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
