we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
