i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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