Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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