You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
