Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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