ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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