Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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