I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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