Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
