Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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