I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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