ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
