i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
