it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fuck appropriateness.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
