how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no, he came in my armpit
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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