New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
