I heard we made out
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
