I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
