We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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