Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
