You just made me feel so damn special
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
