Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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