jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
