you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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