R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Randomize