Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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