the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
