.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She bit a glass in half.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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