In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we're so committed to being not committed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
