he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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