We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
