I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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