Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
