Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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