the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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