i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
